Offense Can Derail a Journey
In the first two lessons, we saw offense as bait: it may be presented to us, but we do not have to take it. This third lesson goes further. An offense held in the heart does not necessarily remain at the same level. It can gradually influence how we think, decide, speak, love, and even discern God's direction.
A person can continue going to church, praying, or serving while carrying untreated offense internally. It may be invisible to everyone else and sometimes even to us. We may believe we have moved on while certain reactions and decisions are still being shaped by what hurt us.
“10And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.”
Matthew 24:10 · KJV
Offense does not appear alone in this passage. It opens into a progression: offense, betrayal, hatred. What begins as a wound we receive can become a doorway to something far more destructive if we keep it.
That is why offense needs to be taken seriously without turning this subject into fear. Offenses will come. The real issue is what we will do with them.
Staying in the Will of God Sometimes Means Refusing a Legitimate Reaction
One of the difficulties of forgiveness is that some offenses give us very good reasons to be angry. We may have truly been betrayed, humiliated, abandoned, deceived, or mistreated. The wound is not imaginary. But being right about what happened does not mean every reaction that follows will lead us in the right direction.
Offense can push us to move too quickly, break something at the wrong time, start something in reaction, leave a place where God was still developing us, or stay trapped in a situation because hurt has made our discernment unclear. A decision can sound spiritual while still being fueled by pain.
Forgiveness becomes a protection for our journey. It does not rewrite the past or make evil acceptable. It prevents what happened to us from deciding, in our place, what happens next.
Grace does not simply command us to forgive; it supplies strength to forgive. Some offenses are too heavy to walk through by emotional discipline alone. We need something greater than willpower.
Five Lives That Could Have Been Derailed by Offense
Scripture gives us several people who had strong human reasons to hold offense. Their responses help us see what can happen when we refuse to let pain choose our destination.
Joseph: Offense Could Have Produced Bitterness
Joseph is betrayed by his own brothers, thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, falsely accused, and imprisoned. Years later, he stands in a position of power before the very men who had harmed him.
“20Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people.”
Genesis 50:20 · MSG
Joseph does not deny their intent. They meant evil. But he refuses to let their intent become the definition of his whole story. Had he allowed offense to mature into bitterness, he could have reached a position of power full of revenge. Instead, he can recognize that God kept working in spite of what was done to him.
Offense could have made Joseph bitter. Forgiveness kept him available for what God still wanted to accomplish through him.
David: Offense Could Have Made Him Move Before His Time
Saul pursues David and repeatedly gives him reasons to defend himself. Yet when David has an opportunity to strike Saul, he refuses to use the offense as permission to take a shortcut.
“12May the LORD judge between me and you, but my hand shall not be against you.”
1 Samuel 24:12 · MSG, as read in the teaching
David could have justified a premature move: he had already been anointed to become king, and Saul was trying to kill him. But being called to something does not mean we can enter it at any time or by any means.
Offense can make us confuse impatience with God's direction. It can provide tremendous emotional energy for a decision that is still out of season. Honor and trust kept David from forcing the timing.
Jesus: Offense Could Have Interrupted the Work of the Cross
Jesus is rejected, mocked, beaten, and crucified by the very people he came to save. Yet in the middle of violence, his response remains directed toward forgiveness.
“34Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”
Luke 23:34 · KJV
The contrast is enormous. The people hurting him give him no human reason to extend grace. Yet offense does not take control of his mission. Forgiveness remains stronger than provocation, suffering, and injustice.
That does not reduce the seriousness of what he endured. It shows that a wound can be real without becoming the master of our response.
Stephen: Offense Could Have Turned Suffering Into a Curse
When Stephen is being stoned, what he suffers could naturally call for revenge. Yet his final posture remains toward God rather than hatred toward those killing him. Even under extreme pressure, love protects his heart from becoming like what is attacking him.
The point is not to pretend that we would react that way easily. It is to see what grace can produce. Grace can preserve our identity even in the face of deep injustice.
Paul: Offense Could Have Silenced His Voice
Paul knew beatings, prisons, danger, shipwrecks, sleepless nights, betrayal, and conflict even among believers. In 2 Corinthians 11:23-28, using the Mirror translation, Creflo reads Paul's long record of exhausting labor, imprisonment, beatings, danger, deprivation, and continual care for the churches. Paul had more than enough material to conclude that he had had enough.
Yet hardship did not become his permission to abandon the call. Another moment makes the contrast even clearer.
“22And the multitude rose up together against them: and the magistrates rent off their clothes, and commanded to beat them. 23And when they had laid many stripes upon them, they cast them into prison, charging the jailor to keep them safely: 25And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.”
Acts 16:22-23,25 · KJV
Beaten and imprisoned, Paul and Silas could have spent the night rehearsing the injustice. Instead, the prisoners hear them pray and sing. Their joy does not deny the blows. It prevents the blows from becoming the center of their identity.
Offense could have silenced Paul's voice. It did not.
Offense Follows a Progression
An offense we keep does not always remain a simple offense. It can develop through a progression:
- Hurt: something from the outside reaches the heart.
- Bitterness: untreated hurt begins to ferment.
- Resentment: we begin living in inward opposition to a person or situation.
- Cold love: the heart hardens and our capacity to love shrinks.
- A spiritual foothold: the enemy finds ground on which to amplify destructive suggestions.
- Withdrawal: the Word, the nearness of God, and the Holy Spirit's direction become less central in daily life.
This process is not automatic and it is not irreversible. It describes what can happen when offense remains untreated. That is exactly why early intervention matters.
We have already seen the importance of forgiving quickly. Here, three practical movements help us begin releasing an offense that has already taken up space.
1. Acknowledge the Pain Without Condemning Yourself
The first step is not pretending everything is fine. God does not ask us to deny what hurt us.
“8Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.”
Psalm 62:8 · KJV
Pouring out the heart before God means telling him the truth. We can say, 'That hurt me deeply. I am angry. I do not understand why this happened.' Honesty like that is not a lack of faith. It is often the beginning of healing.
Denied pain does not necessarily disappear. It may simply move below the surface, where it continues working. Grace invites honesty, not emotional suppression.
Creflo describes a period when he was surrounded by slander. For a long time, his instinct was to insist that it did not hurt. During prayer, he says God confronted him with a simple question: did it hurt you? When he finally acknowledged that it had, the inner work could begin. He started praying for those who had slandered him, and he describes that prayer as part of what softened his heart.
Acknowledging pain does not mean settling into it. It means refusing to build freedom on a lie. What we bring to God can be treated with God.
2. Shift From Retaliation to Restoration
The second movement is giving up the need to make the other person pay.
Forgiveness does not excuse the offender. It releases us from the offender's control. As long as our peace depends on the other person's punishment, apology, or acknowledgment, part of our life remains tied to them.
“32Be inspired by kindness and compassion. Your forgiving one another when you might feel irritated and frustrated demonstrates the way God graciously treated us in Christ.”
Ephesians 4:32 · Mirror Bible
Forgiveness does not mean declaring what happened acceptable. It means giving up personal revenge as our mission. We can place the person, the consequences, and justice in God's hands while still taking concrete steps to protect ourselves where a situation is dangerous.
Forgiveness is also a faith choice before it is an emotion. Feelings may take time to catch up. We can begin with a decision: 'I refuse to let this offense define me. I release this person into God's grace.'
That choice may come with tears and a heart that does not yet feel completely free. That is not hypocrisy. It is choosing a direction before our emotions have finished their journey.
3. Replace the Root With Gratitude and Blessing
Bitterness shrinks our world. One offense can come to dominate our conversations, our thoughts, our view of relationships, and our expectations for the future. Everything begins to be interpreted through it.
Gratitude moves in the opposite direction. It expands our field of vision again. It does not deny the tree that wounded us; it reminds us that the tree is not the entire forest.
“21Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:21 · KJV
Blessing instead of cursing, thanking God for what is still good, and doing good when our instinct wants to return evil all bring the heart back into alignment with the character of Christ.
Creflo tells a personal story about an Atlanta radio host who criticized him regularly on air. When he learned that the man needed money for a project, Creflo says God instructed him to cover the need. He did, despite strong internal resistance. The gesture led the host to apologize. When the criticism later resumed, Creflo says he chose to keep praying blessing rather than restart the cycle of offense.
The point is not that we must always give money to someone who hurt us. The principle is to seek a response that breaks the cycle instead of feeding it.
Blessing can also turn the residue of pain into material for maturity. After a difficult season, we can ask: what did I learn? What did this reveal in me? What wisdom should I carry forward? Do not leave the wisdom in the wilderness. Pain can produce more than a scar; it can produce discernment, healthier boundaries, deeper faith, and more stable character.
Maturity Shows Up Under Pressure
Christian maturity is not measured only by how many years we have been saved or how many verses we can quote. It becomes especially visible in the way we respond under pressure.
What comes out of us when we are humiliated, frustrated, betrayed, or provoked? Does the wound immediately decide our behavior, or does the fruit of the Spirit begin appearing in the middle of discomfort?
This work is not always instantaneous. We may need to return to God several times with the same offense. We may need to pray again, acknowledge again what we feel, and choose forgiveness again. The goal is not to play the part of someone who is spiritually invulnerable. The goal is to become genuinely free.
Offense is a choice. Freedom from offense is a choice too. And that freedom does not rest only on our own strength; it rests on the grace available in Christ.
Pressure also reveals whether forgiveness has become more than a concept. It is one thing to agree with forgiveness while everything is calm; it is another to choose it when the memory is fresh, the accusation feels unfair, or the other person has not apologized. Those moments expose what is governing us. They also become places where grace can train us. Each time we refuse to rehearse the offense, each time we choose prayer over retaliation, and each time we let God define our next step instead of pain, the old pattern loses some of its power. Freedom is often built through repeated choices that look small in the moment but gradually reshape the heart.
For Reflection
- Is there an important decision I have made, or am about to make, under the influence of offense?
- Have I honestly acknowledged before God what hurt me, or am I pretending I have moved on?
- Is this still pain, or has it already started becoming bitterness, resentment, or coldness?
- What would a shift from retaliation to restoration look like in my situation?
- What act of gratitude, blessing, or goodness can I choose so that this offense does not shrink my world?
Passages Cited in the Teaching
Matthew 24:10; Genesis 50:20; 1 Samuel 24:12; Luke 23:34; 2 Corinthians 11:23-28; Acts 16:22-23,25; Psalm 62:8; Ephesians 4:32; Romans 12:21.
Source
This text is an English Selani adaptation of Creflo Dollar's teaching. Personal examples belonging to him are identified as such. The content has been condensed and structured for reading while preserving the progression of the original message.
To hear the complete teaching, watch the original YouTube video: Don't Let Offense Derail Your Journey
Scripture versions follow the versions used in the original teaching where identifiable: KJV by default, with MSG and the Mirror Bible where Creflo reads those versions.