Don't Take the Bait
An offense can be offered without our having to take it. Someone may hurt, disappoint, reject, betray, or mistreat us. The pain can be real. But taking offense means receiving that wound inwardly as a stumbling block that begins to govern the heart.
Offense can produce separation, bitterness, and judgment. Most importantly, it can begin taking control of our peace and, through that, influence our thoughts, our decisions, and our ability to follow the Holy Spirit's leading.
“23And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.”
Luke 7:23 · KJV
Offense is a snare. So the question in this second lesson is very practical: how do we guard our heart when the bait appears?
1. Expect Offenses to Come
“1Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!”
Luke 17:1 · KJV
Offenses are not an anomaly reserved for spiritually weak people. They are part of the journey. We can pray, read the Bible, and grow in grace, and opportunities to be offended will still show up.
Expecting them does not mean becoming suspicious. It means refusing to be blindsided. A surprise attack easily triggers an instinctive response; an offense we recognize for what it is can be addressed before it takes control. We can learn to say, 'That hurt, but I see the bait. I do not have to take it.'
2. Choose Forgiveness Quickly
The second protection is probably the most important: choose forgiveness quickly.
“13bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
Colossians 3:13 · NKJV
The danger is not only being hurt. The danger is letting the hurt remain long enough to change form. Untreated offense begins to ferment. We replay it, add interpretations, imagine what the other person really meant, and tell the story again and again. Every repetition can feed resentment.
“26“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,”
Ephesians 4:26 · NIV
Forgiving quickly does not mean pain disappears immediately. It does not mean the other person was right, that we must return to a dangerous relationship, remove necessary boundaries, or behave as though abuse never happened. Forgiveness begins by refusing to let another person's wrong keep governing our heart.
And that choice does not always require a meeting with the person involved. We do not have to wait for them to understand what they did, agree with our version, or offer a perfect apology before forgiveness can begin. The first work is done in our own heart before God.
Quick forgiveness also does not mean the inner work is completed in one moment. We may sincerely choose to forgive and feel the pain return the next day. When it does, we make the choice again not to feed the offense. Forgiveness may begin in an instant, then need to be maintained whenever the memory tries to regain control.
The Danger of Letting Offense Ferment
“13Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong. 14Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 15Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”
Hebrews 12:13-15 · NLT
A root grows beneath the surface before anything appears above ground. Bitterness works the same way. At first we think we are simply hurt. Then the person's name alone produces a reaction. We become tense, sarcastic, defensive, or angry. We may say we have forgiven while the mention of the event immediately pulls us back into the same emotional place.
Hebrews also warns that the root can affect many people. A private offense can become a collective atmosphere. We recruit allies, retell our version, and draw people into a conflict they never personally experienced.
Bitterness also distorts our vision. It makes us focus on what is wrong with everybody else while becoming less sensitive to what is happening in us. It can erode optimism, shatter joy, make love harder, and feed comparison, envy, resentment, self-pity, and a victim mentality.
Some offenses come from profoundly serious experiences: abandonment, violence, abuse, betrayal, exploitation, or humiliation. Naming those things as serious is not a lack of faith. Forgiveness does not make them acceptable. But bitterness can allow what someone did yesterday to continue exercising power over our life today.
God's grace does not ask us to deny what happened. It gives us a way not to remain imprisoned by it. Even when we believe we have every reason in the world to be angry, the legitimacy of the wound does not make bitterness less destructive. A reason may explain why bitterness entered; it does not change what bitterness produces when it is allowed to stay.
Forgiveness Closes the Door to Bitterness
Forgiveness does not change the past. It changes what the past is allowed to produce in us.
Joseph is a strong picture of this. Betrayed by his brothers, thrown into a pit, and sold into slavery, he later stands before them with real power. He does not allow what they did to determine the man he will become. Maturity does not erase pain; it lets us walk through pain with God without giving pain the right to decide our future.
We may also need to forgive ourselves: for past decisions, for tolerating something too long, for reacting badly, or for not knowing then what we know now. Receiving God's grace also means accepting that our past is not our permanent condemnation.
3. Stay Rooted in Love
“5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
1 Corinthians 13:5 · NIV
Staying in love does not mean automatically feeling affection for everyone. It begins with our own security in God's love. When we are persuaded that he loves us, we do not need every person to validate us, approve us, or treat us perfectly in order to prove our worth.
God loves me, and I believe it.
That confidence frees us from keeping a permanent record of what people have done wrong. We can love without requiring the other person to earn our kindness first.
“12Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins.”
Proverbs 10:12 · NKJV
Hatred continually looks for new reasons to fight. Offense has a hard time sticking to a heart soaked in the love of God. For a follower of Jesus, love is not an optional extra. It is central to becoming more like Christ.
4. Guard Your Thoughts and Your Words
Offense grows in the mind before it shows up in action. A scene may happen once, but we can replay it a hundred times. Our conversations can do the same thing: we keep finding ways to return to the incident and emotionally expose ourselves to the wound again.
“5casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,”
2 Corinthians 10:5 · NKJV
A thought is not an authority simply because it appeared in our mind. We can recognize it, confront it, and refuse to feed it.
A simple exercise illustrates the point. Count silently from one to ten in your mind, then say your name out loud. The counting stops. Spoken words interrupted the mental flow. In the same way, when offense begins looping, we can open our mouth and speak what agrees with our identity and our decision: 'I choose to forgive. This offense will not govern my day. That is not who I am in Christ.' Sometimes a simple 'No' is enough to interrupt a destructive suggestion.
“21The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18:21 · NIV
Our words should not be used to inflame offense continually. They can interrupt the cycle, remind us of truth, and bring our thoughts back under Christ's authority. That also means paying attention to the way we tell our story. Seeking help is healthy; using every conversation to repeat the offense so that we can remain angry is not. The question is simple: are my words moving me toward freedom, or tying me more tightly to what hurt me?
5. Keep Your Eyes on Christ, Not on People
People can fail us. Jesus does not.
“2looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:2 · NKJV
The more our attention is fixed on people, the more vulnerable we become to their imperfections, comments, and decisions. Social media can magnify this: fifty encouraging comments can disappear from our mind because of one insulting one.
“8It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”
Psalm 118:8 · KJV
A person may never change, understand our point of view, or acknowledge what happened. If our peace depends on that person's change, our peace remains in that person's hands. Our primary trust has to remain in God.
Some relationships also belong to a season. Growth can sometimes lead us to take distance without anger and without making a dramatic announcement. When our eyes remain on Christ, we can receive people as gifts without asking them to become our source.
6. Pray for Those Who Hurt You
“44But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,”
Matthew 5:44 · NKJV
Praying for someone who hurt us can feel like the last thing we want to do. Yet prayer also works on our own heart. It does not require us to call evil good. We can ask God to bring that person into truth, grace, repentance, healing, and transformation.
Prayer gradually moves us out of the role of permanent prosecutor. Instead of rehearsing only what we believe the other person deserves, we begin asking what God might do in that person's life. Bitterness can become intercession.
Prayer also reminds us that hurtful people are often hurting people. That does not excuse cruelty or abuse, but it can create empathy where our heart had begun seeing only an enemy.
7. Let the Holy Spirit Be Your Strength
Some offenses can be released quickly. Others touch much deeper places. Serious betrayal, abuse, violence, abandonment, or repeated humiliation can leave pain that human willpower will not resolve in a few minutes.
“16So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
Galatians 5:16 · NIV
Walking by the Spirit means recognizing that the Christian life is not a demonstration of personal strength. We do not have to manufacture, by ourselves, the ability to forgive something that feels humanly unforgivable.
“5And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”
Romans 5:5 · KJV
The Holy Spirit can work where our will reaches its limit. He can help us hand pain to God today and again tomorrow if it returns. He can show us which thoughts to stop, which boundaries to set, which conversations to have or avoid, and how to move forward without being governed by bitterness.
Some wounds are so deep that simply deciding to 'move on' is not enough. In those moments, dependence on God becomes practical and daily. We receive, step by step, the strength not to let pain keep defining our reactions. Asking for his help is not spiritual failure. It is how God intended us to live: dependent on his presence and grace.
Guarding Your Heart Is an Active Process
Guarding the heart is not waiting until we become spiritual enough to stop feeling. We prepare before offense comes. We forgive before the wound ferments. We stay rooted in God's love, watch what we rehearse, refocus on Jesus, pray for those who hurt us, and call on the Holy Spirit when our own strength is not enough.
The goal is not to never be hurt again. The goal is to become a person whom hurt can no longer easily move away from identity, peace, and God's direction.
Offense may come. It does not have to stay.
For Reflection
- Is there an offense I have carried long enough for it to begin becoming bitterness?
- Which thoughts or conversations keep feeding this offense instead of dispersing it?
- Have I confused forgiveness with excusing, forgetting, or necessarily restoring a relationship?
- Can I begin sincerely praying for the person who hurt me while keeping whatever boundaries are necessary?
- Which wound requires me to stop relying on my own strength and explicitly ask the Holy Spirit for help?
Passages Cited in the Teaching
Luke 7:23; Luke 17:1; Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:26; Hebrews 12:13-15; 1 Corinthians 13:5; Proverbs 10:12; 2 Corinthians 10:5; Proverbs 18:21; Hebrews 12:2; Psalm 118:8; Matthew 5:44; Galatians 5:16; Romans 5:5.
Source
This text is an English Selani adaptation of Creflo Dollar's teaching. The examples, analogies, and interpretations reflect the original message and have been condensed for reading.
To hear the complete teaching, watch the original YouTube video: How to Guard Your Heart From Offense
Scripture versions follow the versions used in the original teaching where identifiable: KJV by default, with NKJV, NIV, NLT, and the Mirror Bible where Creflo reads those versions.