What Is Offense?
Before talking about offense as bait, we first need to define it. The basic idea is to stumble over something. Offense is a feeling of resentment or hurt caused by what we perceive as an insult, disrespect, or wrongdoing.
The biblical word skandalon carries the idea of a trap, a snare, a stumbling block, something placed in the path that can cause a person to fall. Spiritually, offense becomes something the heart can stumble over. It can move us from peace into resentment, from grace into judgment, and from freedom into pride or self-righteousness.
Offense Is Bait
A fisherman puts bait on a hook because he wants the fish to come close enough to bite. As long as the fish does not take the bait, the hook cannot pull it out of the water.
Offense works the same way. Hurtful words, disrespect, injustice, criticism, rejection, an attack, or even something we merely perceived as an offense may be presented to us. But the external event and what we choose to do with it internally are two different things.
Offense can be offered. For it to begin governing us, we have to take it. Someone hurts us. We lose our peace. We replay the scene in our mind. We begin judging motives. We change the way we speak to the person. We pull back. We tell the story to someone else, then tell it again. A moment outside us gradually begins occupying far more space inside us than the original event ever did.
That is when the bait has been taken.
We Cannot Control What Gets Offered to Us
Jesus warns his disciples that opportunities for offense will come.
“1Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!”
Luke 17:1 · KJV
He does not say we can arrange our lives so perfectly that we never encounter difficult people, unfair words, disagreement, or hurt. Offenses will come. We can pray, study the Bible, go to church, and grow spiritually, and opportunities to be offended will still come.
The real question therefore becomes: what will we do when they come?
There is a difference between feeling hurt and deciding to carry the hurt. There is also a difference between acknowledging that someone wronged us and giving that wrong the power to control our peace, our thoughts, and our next decisions.
“23And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.”
Luke 7:23 · KJV
Maturity is not becoming incapable of feeling pain. It is learning not to let pain take the driver's seat.
Taking Offense Gives It a Place in the Heart
Offense can begin with something very concrete: someone did not do what we expected, spoke in a way we considered disrespectful, ignored us, criticized us, misunderstood us, or failed to show up when we thought they should.
The inner reaction can become: 'How could he speak to me like that?' 'She should have treated me differently.' 'I do not deserve this.' 'I am going to show them.' The problem is no longer only what happened. We begin allowing the event to determine what happens inside us.
Resentment settles in. Then perhaps bitterness, judgment, or pride. We can remain outwardly polite while being deeply offended. We smile and say everything is fine while inwardly we have already begun separating ourselves from the other person.
Offense can even lead to isolation: cutting communication, avoiding someone, leaving a relationship, a group, or a church community without ever addressing what happened in the heart.
That does not mean we should never create distance. Some relationships require real boundaries. Protecting yourself from abusive or destructive behavior is not the same thing as feeding bitterness. The question is what is governing the decision: the Holy Spirit's leading, or offense?
Offense Can Harden the Heart
“19A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.”
Proverbs 18:19 · NKJV
A fortified city is difficult to enter. Once offense settles in, the heart can begin functioning the same way. We gradually build walls around our position. We no longer want to hear the other person. We reinterpret every new word through what has already happened. Even an attempt at reconciliation can be received with suspicion.
The longer we feed the offense, the more convinced we become that our reaction is completely justified. That is also what makes offense spiritually dangerous. When our inner world is occupied by what someone did, it becomes harder to hear God's direction clearly.
We need the Holy Spirit to lead us. We cannot treat lightly something that fills our mind, steals our rest, and begins directing our choices. Some people spend days replaying a conversation and lose sleep over someone who may not even be thinking about the incident anymore.
We have to stop giving other people's words and behavior free rent in our minds.
Offense Can Move Us Outside Our Identity
Under grace, the question is not only, 'Was that person wrong?' It is also, 'Who am I in Christ, and what response matches that identity?'
When offense drives our reaction, we can move from love into resentment, from forgiveness into revenge, from freedom into obsession, or from humility into self-righteousness. Yet our identity is somewhere else. We are loved. We are forgiven. We have received grace. We have been freed from condemnation. The issue is allowing that identity to produce our response.
That requires maturity. An immature person feels compelled to answer everything, correct every comment, win every argument, defend an image, and prove that he or she is right. A growing person learns that not every battle deserves to be fought. Maturity also learns silence.
“17Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.”
Romans 16:17 · KJV
Refusing offense therefore does not mean remaining available for every provocation. Scripture also allows us to recognize certain behaviors, step back, and establish boundaries. Some discussions will do nothing except leave us more irritated. Some debates are not about truth at all. Some online exchanges exist only to provoke. We do not have to accept every invitation to fight.
Offense Opens the Door to Something Else
Offense is rarely the final destination. It often becomes the beginning of a chain.
“10And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.”
Matthew 24:10 · NKJV
The sequence is sobering: offense, betrayal, hatred. Something that begins as hurt can gradually produce much more destructive behavior if we keep feeding it.
Cain gives us an extreme picture. In Genesis 4:3-8, Cain sees Abel's offering accepted while his own is not. He becomes angry and his countenance falls. God warns him before the situation goes any further.
“7If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.”
Genesis 4:7 · KJV
Cain still had the opportunity to respond differently. Instead, he allowed what was happening inside him to continue developing until he killed his brother. The example is extreme, but the principle matters: deal with offense before it begins producing something else.
A wound can be fed until it becomes anger. Anger can be fed until it becomes hatred. Hatred can be fed until we do things we never imagined at the beginning.
Human Anger Does Not Produce the Maturity God Desires
“20because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
James 1:20 · NIV
Offense easily turns into anger. When anger becomes our normal way of functioning, it blocks what God is forming in us from becoming visible. We may be the righteousness of God in Christ, yet our behavior may not look like the character of Christ.
This is where Christian maturity becomes practical. The goal is not only to know more Scripture, defend doctrine correctly, or win debates. The goal is also for Jesus' character to become increasingly visible in the way we treat people.
Can I love when love becomes difficult? Can I forgive quickly? Can I stay silent when answering would produce nothing good? Can I let go of the need for validation? Can I see someone in the middle of a process of transformation without using that person's flaws to feel superior? These are questions of spiritual maturity too.
Offense Can Choke the Word We Received
Jesus gives another picture in the parable of the sower.
“16And these are they likewise which are sown on stony ground; who, when they have heard the word, immediately receive it with gladness; 17And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution ariseth for the word's sake, immediately they are offended.”
Mark 4:16-17 · KJV
It is possible to receive the Word with joy on Sunday and meet an offense a few hours later. Then the question becomes: which one is going to have the final word?
We can hear teaching about love, forgiveness, peace, or grace and immediately abandon what we just received when someone irritates us. Offense then becomes a way for the Word to stumble before it takes root and bears fruit. That is part of what makes the bait so effective: it often comes with a powerful feeling that our reaction is justified.
Even Truth Can Offend
Two episodes in Jesus' life show another side of offense. In Matthew 15, Jesus teaches that what truly defiles a person is not simply what comes from the outside.
“11Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.”
Matthew 15:11 · KJV
The disciples then come back to him:
“12Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying?”
Matthew 15:12 · KJV
Jesus had spoken truth, yet some people received it as offense. That gives us an important distinction: the fact that a statement bothers us does not automatically make the statement false. Sometimes we need to resist a defensive reaction long enough to ask, 'Is something true confronting me here?'
At Nazareth, another form of offense appears. The people look at Jesus through what they think they know about his background.
“3Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him.”
Mark 6:3 · KJV
They know him too much according to the flesh to receive what God is bringing through him. The account continues:
“5And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them.”
Mark 6:5 · KJV
Their offense does not remove what is on Jesus; it limits what they themselves are able to receive. That raises a searching question: what is my offense keeping me from receiving?
The New-Covenant Response
The answer is not to pretend nothing hurts. It is not to tolerate abuse, eliminate every boundary, or remain in every relationship simply because we are Christians. The answer is to refuse to let the wound determine what our heart becomes.
“31Take up the strongest possible position against every form of distorted behavior in your own life. Do not allow yourself to be spiteful. Outbursts of violent emotion and rage do not become you. You do not have to shout in order to make your point. People must feel safe in your conversation. Therefore, slander and hurtful words are out. 32Be inspired by kindness and compassion. Your forgiving one another when you might feel irritated and frustrated demonstrates the way God graciously treated us in Christ.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 · Mirror Bible
The model is what God has already done for us in Christ. We do not forgive in order to pretend what happened was acceptable. We forgive from the forgiveness we ourselves have received.
“13Upholding one another in positive expectation. If anyone finds fault with another, restore that person to favor, remembering how the Lord's forgiveness has transformed our lives.”
Colossians 3:13 · Mirror Bible
We are all in process. The person in front of us may be in the middle of a transformation God has not finished yet. So are we. It is easy to forget our own stages when another believer is walking through something God has already brought us out of.
Grace creates another posture: making room for growth without calling evil good, but also without reducing people to their worst moment.
The Real Goal: Becoming More Like Jesus
In the end, this first lesson brings us back to a question bigger than any particular offense: is the character of Jesus becoming visible in me?
We can win an argument and lose our peace. We can be right about the facts and answer in a way that does not look like Christ. We can prove publicly that someone wronged us and then allow that person to control our entire week internally.
Or we can grow. We can recognize the bait before we bite. We can forgive faster. We can set boundaries without hatred. We can choose not to answer certain provocations. We can stop repeating, feeding, and maintaining what hurt us. And when we realize we already took the offense, we can put it down.
The goal is not to become insensitive. The goal is to become free.
For Reflection
- Is there a person or situation I am still replaying mentally?
- Was I simply hurt, or am I now actively feeding the hurt?
- Has this offense begun changing my peace, my sleep, my words, or the way I treat someone?
- Have I made an important decision because I was offended: leaving, cutting off a relationship, retaliating, or trying to prove something?
- Is there a discussion, especially online or in my circle, that I simply need to stop participating in?
- Have I confused forgiveness with the absence of boundaries? Can I forgive and still take healthy distance where needed?
- What response today would look more like the character of Jesus?
Passages Cited in the Teaching
Luke 7:23; Luke 17:1; Proverbs 18:19; Romans 16:17; Matthew 24:10; James 1:20; Mark 4:16-17; Genesis 4:3-8; Matthew 15:11-12; Mark 6:3-5; Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:13.
Source
This text is an English Selani adaptation of Creflo Dollar's teaching. Personal examples, analogies, and interpretations reflect the original message and have been condensed for reading without replacing them with a different interpretation.
To hear the complete teaching, watch the original YouTube video: Can Offense Move You Out of the Will of God?
Scripture versions follow the versions used in the original teaching where identifiable: KJV by default, with NKJV, NIV, and the Mirror Bible where Creflo reads those versions.